As women, we think we can do it all and we want to do it all, but can we really? No.
Frustrated, we ask "How do I balance everything?"
Here's the thing, balance is really a myth. There are seasons to life and sometimes some things will get more of your attention than others. You may go through a season where school is first, your career is the most important thing, starting a family is what your focused, and so on. Such is life - it comes in seasons.
I recently listened in on a segment from The Mom Conference that was really eye-opening to me. The author is an entrepreneur, time management coach, wife, mother of four small children and more and she said "The floors in my house get pretty sticky. The toilets in our bathrooms get pretty dirty before they get my attention." Her point was that we need to define what things we truly value, give those the most of our time, and let the other stuff go (at least for a little while). Maybe you value home-cooked, organic meals. Maybe you value fun crafts and adventures with your kids. Maybe you value physical fitness, spiritual growth, a spotless house, travel, quality family time, volunteering, etc. All these things are great, but we can't do everything, so pick your top five or six and let the other things slide. Your top values may not be my top values, but that's ok. We have to let ourselves off the hook and let each other off the hook as well. As they say, comparison is poison. We look at another women we know and think 'she's got it all together'. And, though she may have something you don't have - you don't know what she might have given up, that you have, to get it.
Frustrated, we ask "How do I balance everything?"
Here's the thing, balance is really a myth. There are seasons to life and sometimes some things will get more of your attention than others. You may go through a season where school is first, your career is the most important thing, starting a family is what your focused, and so on. Such is life - it comes in seasons.
I recently listened in on a segment from The Mom Conference that was really eye-opening to me. The author is an entrepreneur, time management coach, wife, mother of four small children and more and she said "The floors in my house get pretty sticky. The toilets in our bathrooms get pretty dirty before they get my attention." Her point was that we need to define what things we truly value, give those the most of our time, and let the other stuff go (at least for a little while). Maybe you value home-cooked, organic meals. Maybe you value fun crafts and adventures with your kids. Maybe you value physical fitness, spiritual growth, a spotless house, travel, quality family time, volunteering, etc. All these things are great, but we can't do everything, so pick your top five or six and let the other things slide. Your top values may not be my top values, but that's ok. We have to let ourselves off the hook and let each other off the hook as well. As they say, comparison is poison. We look at another women we know and think 'she's got it all together'. And, though she may have something you don't have - you don't know what she might have given up, that you have, to get it.
So, be honest with yourself and know when to say "no". I heard it said recently that "the right 'no' is better than the wrong 'yes.'" Y'all, I am preaching to myself on this too! We let guilt pressure us into taking on too many projects sometimes. We want to do everything and help everyone. But despite our best efforts, it’s just not possible to ‘do it all.’ Learning to say no effectively without guilt can help minimize your to-do list.
Another point this speaker mentioned was about defining and protecting your roles. Most of us can only handle about 4-5 roles. Wife, mother, pastor, teacher, daughter, home manager, entrepreneur, chef, business-woman, student.... What are your top roles? Define them clearly and then protect them with your time. One of the most powerful things I heard her say, was that you have to clearly separate "mom" and "home manager." The home manager cleans, plans meals, does the grocery shopping, you know, runs the family. But, the mom reads a book, plays legos, goes to the school play, takes you to the park, etc. Sometimes, I find myself at home with my son, but doing all the home manager stuff. That's when I must put limits on my time and switch hats.
And finally, the thing that should have been first.... Your number one roll is you. We've got to take a few minutes each day to ground ourselves. My mom always says "You have to take care of yourself, so you can take care of others" and that really is true. Find something to do for yourself each day - take a bubble bath, go for a jog, journal, whatever it is you can do just for you.
I hope this helps you feel empowered and free. It's advice that I am learning from as well.
Let it go.
Ten Tricks for staying productive with little kids.
For more information about the speaker I listened to and some of her resources check out momentity.com
Another point this speaker mentioned was about defining and protecting your roles. Most of us can only handle about 4-5 roles. Wife, mother, pastor, teacher, daughter, home manager, entrepreneur, chef, business-woman, student.... What are your top roles? Define them clearly and then protect them with your time. One of the most powerful things I heard her say, was that you have to clearly separate "mom" and "home manager." The home manager cleans, plans meals, does the grocery shopping, you know, runs the family. But, the mom reads a book, plays legos, goes to the school play, takes you to the park, etc. Sometimes, I find myself at home with my son, but doing all the home manager stuff. That's when I must put limits on my time and switch hats.
And finally, the thing that should have been first.... Your number one roll is you. We've got to take a few minutes each day to ground ourselves. My mom always says "You have to take care of yourself, so you can take care of others" and that really is true. Find something to do for yourself each day - take a bubble bath, go for a jog, journal, whatever it is you can do just for you.
I hope this helps you feel empowered and free. It's advice that I am learning from as well.
Let it go.
Ten Tricks for staying productive with little kids.
For more information about the speaker I listened to and some of her resources check out momentity.com
